Take A Second

Heart roaring in the sound of deprivation. In most cases it's wants not needs. We don't realize what lies before us. Blind to the good in life, but take notice to all the bad. When really it's the bad that is here today and gone tomorrow. When there are others trying to find happiness, and not dwelling in the dark hole they can't escape. The hole being of many different possibilities: diseased, homeless, starvation, etc. We take for granted every day that we wake. We have clothes to cover our bodies and shoes to soldier our feet, we have food to nourish our health, and water to keep us from dehydration. Although, one thing can go wrong in our day and make us feel as if everything around us is crumbling down. One thing... Someone's rude comment, the clothes not flattering your figure, car ran out of gas, a headache, and many more that every person complains about throughtout life. What about the baby born with a disease, and fighting for every breath of air. Or the elderly lady that fell and doesn't have the strenght to bring herself back to her feet. Or the children that parents abandoned them, and they have to fend for themselves and their siblings. But, here we are upset that our boyfriend/girl friend broke up with us. Or we didn't eat what was set before us because we don't like the taste of it. Or we take all of our frustrations out on someone else, because it makes us feel better. We can't let the little things go so that we can enjoy and be appreciative of all that makes our lifes better than the person who had no say in what their life had in store. It's something we don't notice on a regular basis. You never knew what you had till you don't have it anymore. If we would just pause a second and think about all of this maybe our day wouldn't seem so bad. Maybe we would be greatful for what we do have. Maybe we would be more optimistic even considering the little negatives that happen throughout the day. I wish people could look at life this way, and care more about those less fortunate. It runs through my mind every day, sometimes even right when I wake up. It makes me try to be a better person, and help people in need.

Fake

Expressionless silence within
Any other day this wouldn't have been
Out trying to prove everyone wrong
Couldn't sing not even to one song

Emptiness depression setting mood
Physically visable where I stood
Emotion sense of emptiness
Personality put aside to rest

Urge to shake it awake
Not me simply just a fake
Couldn't sing not even to one song
Few hours seems to be so long

Finally shook free
Free to be me
Filled with smiles and sound
Hiding but now found

Where It Takes Me

Tonight I was riding home from watching the movie "All About Steve" in Show Low with my brother Trinity and his girlfriend Skye. The conversation came up about what you would want to be if you could be anything as far as career wise. My brother had never really thought about it, and could only come up with 3 different things. Since I was little I have wanted to be in so many different professions. All of them changing with time. Except, for the last nearly 4 years I have wanted to become a massage therapist. I came close to enrolling in the school and taking the big step to the first step of becoming a massage therapist, but I let people talk me out of it. Still I have this dream and see myself happy persuing this. I don't want to let people hold me back from it. I have the people supportive of it on my right shoulder and the people not supportive on my left shoulder. The left shoulder being much heavier. I am young, but not staying any younger than yesterday. If I want something I have to apply myself. Not worry about all the people that are anti my wants. I know if I don't love being a massage therapist I can always try something else. My family always jokes about me being a full time college student for the rest of my life because I am so undecisive. This is one thing I have had run over and over through my mind, and I want to live this dream instead of continuously dreaming it. Whether or not the family and friends closest to me agree with my decision or not. I need to not care, but I've always been one to want opinions, and I am beginning to find out that's not always a great thing. It's not just going to massage school that I have to figure out, but also where, when, job while going to school, and with someone or not. Once I feel like I have a plan it all gets washed away. What I want is to move away, attend school, live with someone close to me, have a good job, and learn and live a life full of inspiration. I want to make great memories. I want something more for myself. If that means I have to go into this without certain peoples support then so be it. I will show them that I when I have a goal I will also have a drive. I'm going to follow my dreams and see where it takes me =)!!

Happy

Someone once told me that you have to choose

What you win or lose

You can’t have everything

Don’t you take chances

You might feel the pain

Don’t you love in vain ’cause love won’t set you free

I could stand by the side

And watch this life pass me by

So unhappy

But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?

So what it I break down?

So what if this world just throws me off the edge,

My feet run out of ground

I gotta find my place

I wanna hear my sound

Don’t care about all the pain in front of me

Cuz I'm just trying to be happy

I just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly

Just can’t let it go

Just trying to play my role

Slowly disappear

But all these days

They feel like they’re the same

Just different faces different names

Get me out of here

I can't stand by the side

Ooh, no

And watch this life pass me by

Pass me by

So what if it hurts me?

So what if i break down?

So what if this world just throws me off the edge?

My feet run out of ground I gotta find my place

I wanna hear my sound don’t care about all the pain in front of me

I’m just trying to be happy

Oh, happy

Oh

So when it turns that I can't see

Like I'm a stranger on this road

But don't say victim

Don’t say anything

So what if it hurts me?

So what if I break down?

So what if this world just throws me off the edge?

My feet run out of ground

I gotta find my place

I wanna hear my sound

Don’t care about all the pain in front of me

I just wanna be happy

Happy

I just wanna be

Oh

I just wanna be

Happy.

By Leona Lewis

I love this song! It made me so happy. Goes well with my life...

....

Mind scattered several directions
Voiceless unexplainable emotions
. . . .
Not unhappy, but not satisfied
Searching an unknown guide

Fade, fade, fade

When will I get it right
Always being wrong
My feelings and doings
Fade, fade, fade away
Getting on track to fall off again
Having a want a desire
Then letting it fade away
Not completely but temporarily
Putting me right back in the same position
One step forward one step back
The dance I'm dancing
No rythm just a stick figure movement
I want to twirl dip spin
A beautiful free enticing dance
I want to build on it and grow
I don't want to fade
Fading seems easier
I want the challenge
Why do I keep letting it fade
Fade, fade, fade away

Love Quotes

I know my blog is full of love. Someone told me today that love is the strongest most expressed emotion. I downloaded an app on my ipod called love quotes. Here are a few.

"You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving."- Amy Carmichael

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."- Aristotle

"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."- Robert Heinlein

"Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one."- John Keats

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart." - Helen Keller

"To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed."- Unknown

"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly."- Sam Keen

"If you love me only in my dreams, let me be asleep forever."- Unknown

"There is no remedy for love but to love more."- David Thoreau

"When you are in Love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams." Dr Seuss

"Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never. . . never forget it."- Curtis Judalet

Allow

Are they out there? Is it possible? I believe they are & I believe it is. There are so many doubts wandering about in each persons head that they don't know who or what to believe. I think for every positive relationship there are 5 times as many negative. Why would this be? People are confused, don't know what they want, or afraid to allow either pain or love into their lifes. Not everyone is the same as the last person that it didn't work out with. Not everyone is going to want the same thing as you. Not everyone is going to give you the respect and love you deserve, but that is the reason that person is not everything to you. It's not going to be easy, but it will be worth it to allow yourself to love. Being picky isn't always bad, but one person may be lacking in certain areas and above average in other areas. There has to be a little slack. NO ONE IS PERFECT! Personality is key, physical appearance is a bonus. I do believe there has to be an attraction, but you can't judge a book by its cover. Everyone does need to have standards, because without them they are lowering themselves to something they are better than. Why take a step back? Keep moving forward. Things in the past are there for a reason. Letting go of someone who once meant everything to you is a process. It can't happen overnight. You have to continue on to make yourself happy, and not sit back hoping that person could be who you want them to be. Let memories be memories! Allow your heart to open up to someone carrying the qualities you melt for. It may or may not work out in the end, but you will never unless you allow.